Walking in the rain

It is a good day!

I left my office at 5.45 pm sharp, and it started pouring outside. I was walking in the rain, all wet to the car park. It was fun though! I tried what you said we should try. The only thing I didn't do is looking face up to the sky, as the raindrops was quite heavy and I was with my glasses. :)...

Only recently that I realized routine life is not too bad at all. At least you won't have nothing in your mind of how your day is going to be. Everyday has something there that needs to be done. I think I am getting comfortable with my working life. The best thing about working life is that, working and non working hours are not interchangeable. I work, and I go home, and I have my time. As a student, there's no clear cut between study and non study time. One day I might be study all the time, and the other day I might be having fun all day. Or, I might be having fun when I supposed to study and I am studying when the rest are having fun. See.....lol.

Hmm... life is full of surprises. You never know what's coming next! :)...

~xoxo~

Another Week

Yes, another weekend just passed like that. It was a fruitful weekend. Meeting up with 'long-lost' friends were fun; chatting and gossiping about everything brought back so much memories. The movie 'Orphan' is darn good. If you want some thrill, go for it! I swear I cannot even blink my eyes throughout the whole show, and it has unexpected ending. I likey!!! *Caramel popcorn is yummy*

The last weekend is coming. Somehow I was enlightened at this moment. Maybe it was the conversation with my housemates, maybe it was him telling me how his coming new life will be. I used to be very optimistic, maybe it's the lifestyle now that gets my nerve easily all the time.

I need to think through things......

Good Nighty!!

~xoxo~

Blur

Haizzzzz......

So, I am certified to be a one big muddy head!

After almost a month staying by myself and taking care of myself by myself, I feel lucky enough that nothing really wrong happen to me, yet! I can't imagine my life in the States for the past three years if he were not there to take care of me.

First, never fail to be lost on my way to and from work. Never get to find my directions, no matter I am driving or walking.

Second, I can never remember my own cell phone number. So, never expect me to remember yours.

Third, I see my car everyday, and I never know it's JLT instead of JDT. I thought the car dealer gave me a used car with so many faulty parts, and I complaint to my dad, and, my dad called the fella and questioned aka scolded him. He asked me to open my eyes big big and go check the car plate again.

Then, just because of my falling handbag at the passenger seat that I can bump into the pillar at the toll. *hopeless*

More, always forget this and that. I can be so careless in handling accounts, either got the numbers wrong or totally missed out the account. I can either print my work super big on the A3 paper or print my work with words smaller than a font size 8. I sometimes forgot to deliver people's message for a call back.

Worse, I got home, taking the office keys to open my door, and surprisingly, two of the keys just fit nicely into each one of them, but not vice versa. So, I never realized I will get the wrong keys, and my door can never be opened. I called my housemate for help, and right after the call, I found the right keys.

The worst now, I don't even know if I am having sinus or a cold, if I am just heaty or having fever.

Don't be surprised by me!! As days go by, there will be much much more to come.

-s.p.e.e.c.h.l.e.s.s-

32 :)

32, that's 8 years and 4 months! This becomes my new motivation! Somehow!

8 years and 4 months, and I'll have my dream job! How cool!

hee hee, you said it and i have it. So, let's do it!!

I am so looking forward to my dream job...

~xoxo~

Tee-Hee

So, after a short break, back to work with AC not working in the office, which is good for me since I am down with a cold and running nose. It's almost the end of September already, which also means that I'm going to get my FIRST paycheck really soon. tee-hee. It's not the amount of the paycheck that excite me the most, but the effort and the endurance that I have put in for this one month. There were countless of time that I wanted to quit and just return to my comfort zone. It is so hard to persuade myself to stay tough and move on. I am glad that I made it, closed to a month already. :)... So, when I get my first pay, I am gonna have a good treat with my 11 (luckily he will be here to share my honor, ha-ha), and I am gonna make 4 small little red packets to give to the 4 important people behind me at home. G.R.E.A.T!!

I am in the process of feeding myself more, to get some fat onto my body. Two of the dresses that I brought back from US fit loosely on me, and all the A&F or AE jeans or skirts that I bought with size 0 can only be wore once and I was forced to wash it after that as they become too loose. I only have one A&F skirt size 00 that still fits well. *swt* Thinking of the time when I first went over, I was a size 2. What happened? I came back with a size 00!!! :(...

I do miss my swimming time, my jogging time, and my gym time. I was healthier and fitter before. Office lady is not very nice to be in the long run though. *thinking, hmm...*

I think I want to eat Kajang satay and Kajang 99...*slurp*

Looking forward to the show of New Moon in November, but, who am I gonna watch with? :(...

~xoxo~

16/09/09 Wednesday

Counting down 2 days till Raya weekend!!!

This is officially my FIRST 'long' break after started working three weeks ago. I am very looking forward to it, although I know it's going to pass just like that. I know I am going to be very sad at the end of the break, but I choose to be happy first and enjoy the every moment I have, with him.

I was thinking a lot when I was driving home from work today. It was raining very heavily, with horrible traffic jam. I was in the car, enjoying the songs and the blurry view. Flashing back on my life in US and comparing my life now in Malaysia actually made me think of the poem I learn in Form 5- the road not taken. Sometimes, it is really not about good or bad in things we do, but the process that we have gone through and the experience that we have gained in life that make the difference. No one knows if I'll be doing fine in US if I were to stay there. No one knows if I'll be having an easy life there in US if I were still there. No one really knows if I'll still have him by my side if we were to be still in US. I always believe that God made a special path to each and every one of us, and I definitely think that God has been always nicer to me. I am always surrounded by kind people, and there's always someone there to help me when I am feeling helpless. Although I complain sometimes about my life, about my work, and about everything, but I do think there's nothing more that I can ask for. I am blessed enough to have everything that I want.

I have to be strong and independent when he is gone. This is my early New Year resolution. Everything's gonna be good!

~xoxo~

From Heaven To Hell

I had the best and the worst (I'm stupid!) weekend ever.

It was a short but meaningful two days. September 12, 2009, at Kajang Catholic Church, I got my Promise back. A promise that is more than just words. A Promise that will keep me strong and determined in living my life better. A Promise that makes me happy when everything else is not so smooth. I got it back, and I'll keep it forever with me. Thank you and I love you!!

It was a short but meaningful two days. Two days of having someone to pamper me all the time, holding his hands makes me feel so secured. And just the two days, enough to defeat my two weeks hard work to stay tough and strong by myself. All my big will and strength just vanish like that. I hate myself. I hate my tears. They make me feel weak, so not the person he wants me to be. A lot of things hiding in my heart, that I will never want to say, as I know he knows what's the best for us in the future. When you're getting old, you know life is not a drama, but a very realistic live show. Take it, or leave it.

I am feeling better now.

~xoxo~

Ha-Ha

It's finally Wednesday!!

I'll start planning on Hari Raya trip now.

Just in case you're wondering how am I doing with my job, it's already the second week of work, and I'm getting more and more comfortable with my work. More and more people is joining our team, and that makes it more fun to be in the office. I am learning a lot, not only the technical part but also the working attitude wise. I always observe how people around me behave, and I do think working experience does make a person different in certain way. I enjoy watching the experienced ones work as they're just so professional no matter how old they're. It's fun!

If you're wondering about my life after work, well, it's very simple i would say. I reach home earlier and earlier (that's because I know my way home already, not that I get off work earlier, :)..), and I always bargain with the jaga at the gate to give me discount for the parking fees. Then I reach home, and I stay home. Online is what I do for the rest of the night. Usually I would have to spend at least an hour a day on the phone with my folks at home, telling them how my day went. They're seriously worried about my life in KL by myself. But I'm doing fine. I am pretty occupied already, so I will rather use the rest of my free time online, reading books, or relaxing myself on my comfy bed.

Dad asked me the other day if I am going to live my life like this for the rest of my life, work then go home and work again and then go home again. I don't know. I am now at a stage like a baby exploring a new world. Everything seems new and interesting. I don't find it routine yet. But, I believe things will eventually become repetitive by themselves. So, what I can do when I am by myself, is to give myself more surprises in life and more things to look forward to. This is life.

~xoxo~

Good Day

It's always different when you have something to look forward to. Time pass faster and easier; life is more beautiful. When you're in this good mood, even a malfunction GPS doesn't seemed to be the end of the world. Gladly to say, my phobia of driving in KL is gradually subsiding, which also means that I'll be planning some shopping trips here and there, and which will result in burning a hole in my pocket. Well, no way! I'm no longer the old me. When you're working, you're supposed to be financially independent from the family. At least it is a principal that I upheld to. Shopping will remain as my favorite activity, the only antidote to my depression and whatsoever sickness. Well, maybe window shopping!

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday!!!

~xoxo~

Ngo Howl Cy Lay Arr....

Good news!

Today is the first day that I got home without the help of my GPS, and, five minutes earlier.

I think we should be more independent and less dependent on technology. Sometimes! :)...

Book I am reading: For One More Day. A very good book!

Good nighty!

4 more days...

~xoxo~

New Week

Super excited!

Can't wait for the weekend!

Looking forward for the Hari Raya holidays!

I'll live through this week, very happily and smoothly.

I'm so proud of myself, today~~

~xoxo~

Absence Makes the Hearts Grow Fonder

At least, when the whole world does not think long distance relationship is going to last, you told me firmly and surely, that we're gonna be fine. Your words are greater than anything else.

At least, my heart does not feel falling apart anymore. My mind returns peaceful.

At least, I have that little more courage to face everything here by myself.

At least, I will have a good night sleep tonight.

Absence makes the hearts grow fonder. I believe you.

~xoxo~

Numb

Numb; as I no longer feel the passing of time. I'm just flowing with the time, day by day.

Numb; as I can be so ignorant to my own feeling now. I do not even want to care if I'm happy or not.

Numb; as I have built some antibody to all the problems. Problem arises, I deal with it. Do not ask me about tomorrow. I don't know.

I'm living life. or. Life is leaving me.

~xoxo~

Second Day of Work

Mind:"I have to be strong. I promised people that I'll be good. Everything will be fine."

Heart:"I don't think I can do it anymore. I feel as if there are a thousand tons of stones buried on me."

Mind:"Don't think about anything else. Just go and work and have fun."

Heart:"I spent all my god damn money on parking fees and petrol, just because I don't have that little sense of direction."

Mind:"Please eat more. You need more strength to be happy, to show people that you're fine. You need to put on some weight."

Heart:"Everytime I have stomachache and then diarrhe before leaving house. That's because of the nervousness of driving (I just knew it today). Everytime when I come out from the car at the car park, I feel like vomiting, the feeling of something pressing on my chest. At the end, I cannot eat anything. I lost all my appetite."

Mind:"I really like to be in my room. It's big enough for me to breath, and it has nice view at night."

Heart:"It's big enough for me to feel lonely. So lonely that I don't even know how to appreciate the night."

Mind:"It's not a big deal to wash your clothes with hands, tidy your room, and boil your drinking water."

Heart:"Two days clothes haven't wash, room is not tidy at all, and always forgot to boil water. When all these in a mess, I am screwed."

~xoxo~

First Day of Work

It's time for the checklist. Let's see~~

MY JOB

• Have my own big table. Yes! It's big!
• In a fully AC place. Yes! Temperature is just nice for me!
• Number of employees in the company at least 100. Kind of true. It has 800+ employees. But not in the office I am sitting. It has subsidiaries everywhere.
• Have a comfy office chair. Yes!
• Have a 22-inch LCD monitor on my table. No. But I'll be getting a Dell laptop though. :)...
• My own extension number. Yes yes yes.
• A pile of files/works that can keep me working. Not today, but I'm sure I'll in few days time. (observing the people around me working the whole day, they ARE busy)
• Dress code: formal. Heels a must. Very the importantly CORRECT! :)...My feet are all blisters now that I have to beg for plasters from my housemate.
• Super good internet connection in the company. I believe so. I saw the girl beside me checking Edward Cullens all the time today, watching movie preview, etc.
• Free membership to a fitness center. (or just let me have a fitness center nearby, I am willing to pay myself. Boo.) Well, they seriously do have a fitness center so happen in the plaza. BUT, I do not have the money to go. Boo...

MY HOUSE

• Near my workplace. Pretty near. :)...
• Fully AC. NO!! But it's level 16, pretty cooling. hehe...
• Small. Not bad! I have my master bedroom, with attached bathroom, that's enough.
• Fully carpeted. Not yet. But I'll put carpet on it once I have money.
• Has a 32-inch flat screen TV. No! I don't think I have time to watch TV though. First thing I want to do after work is to go online and talk to my dear and friends. They're my charger.
• Bath tub. Nope!
• A fridge of course. Yes!
• A wardrobe enough to store all my clothing. Preferably a separate one for my hundreds of pairs of heels. I find this one funny because, not only I don't have a wardrobe now, my clothings are all in my big luggage and shoes are all in plastic bags, how pathetic!
• A big mirror somewhere, but not in my room. Yes! In my room, and at door side.
• Broadband internet connection, so that I can online even if I am 'doing business' in the bathroom. Yes! But the broadband is worse than a narrowband in that lovely country.
• A very small garden in front (minimal maintenance). No! A golf club at the back, and my favourite One Utama is so near yet so far from me.
• A park or a lake nearby. Yes. I found one pak to lake there.
• Mr. 11 is accessible in a 15 minutes driving distance, if not in my house. :)... Sadly to say, the most important one became the least possible one. He will be an ocean away. I'll be good, and be tough.
• A dog (named mow mow) sits at home waiting for me to go home everyday. Ben ben Dan dan sleep with me every night. Sorry Mow mow, I'll bring you home when I have many many raises first.
• Possibly a piano too. Do not need it anymore.
• Do not need to be near to a hawker center. I am more than willing to walk a few miles for food. (I can even live with wheat bread and tuna, or a cheaper meal of wheat bread and peanut butter) Food cost money. I don't have money. Thus, I don't eat.

God is pretty nice to me. Always. :)

~xoxo~